Hermione finds out something quite surprising about her husband.


1. Arachnophobia

Sighing loudly, Hermione Malfoy threw the tea towel she had been using onto the draining board. IT was driving her MAD. By 'it' she meant the high-pitched shrieks emanating from the bathroom at irregular intervals. What worried her the most was that the feminine sounds were coming from her husband, the sign that he had come across a spider but was too proud to ask for his wife's help. Flippin' ferret.


"Draco, if you want me to deal with the spider then you'd better unlock the door" cooed Hermione for the third time. Unlike the past two attempts (where Malfoy had boasted that he 'was man enough to be able to deal with a spider' then thrown something at it), she heard a soft click as the door was unlocked. Slowly turning the door knob, she peered inside the bathroom. Sitting on the toilet seat in only a towel, Draco Malfoy was cowering from a spider hanging from the tap, surrounded by badly thrown objects. "Oh, Draco" Hermione sighed before grabbing a hndful of toilet tissue and the cup they kept their toothbrushes in. Easing the cup under the spider, she swatted it with her toilet tissue filled hand, trapping it. Carelessly, she flung it outside the bathroom window. "Better now?" she asked condescendingly, snickering at his shocked face.

"How are you not scared of them?" Draco whispered, his voice husky from the frightening spider.

"It's a spider, you're a human. I used to kill spiders when my Mum found one too."

"What would I do without you, Hermione?"

"Be plagued by spiders. I want payment for my spider killing services!"

"How much? 40 galleons? 50?"

"I want you to do the washing all week" demanded Hermione. "And cook dinner" she added as an afterthought.

"But Hermioneeeee" whined Draco.

"No buts! I don't slay spiders for meagre pay! You can start by finishing drying the dishes downstairs"

"But Hermioneee!"

"What did I say, Draco? No buts!"

"But Hermione! I need the toilet!"

"Ah. That may be a problem. I'll go outside and you can go. But I expect you to finish drying the dishes afterwards"

"Yes Hermione"

'Good' she thought, 'there's no doubt about who wears the trousers in this relationship'. Grinning, she went downstairs to enjoy her spare time.

Inside the bathroom Draco washed his hands sulkily. "Damn spiders" he muttered.

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