Invisible Giant Attacks

There are massive attacks going all over the world and only Inspector Frost, Del Boy Trotter, Granville, Dangermouse, Count Duckula and the BFG among any others can solve this mystery in this live action/animation tribute to another one of my most favourite actors of all time: Sir David Jason.

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1. Toad's Gold Rush

One summer day at Toad Hall in 1910s, Mr. Toad was making the most of the morning – lying on his deckchair in his garden. He was reading the newspaper, drinking eighteen bottles of lemonade and eating at least a dozen of cream cakes. It wasn’t even ten o’clock. 

            Then something in the paper caught his attention. “By Jove! A gold rush in America? And there’s more in New Zealand, Australia, Canada and Brazil among others. I wonder if there’s one happening in England.” He read more of the article, but there was no mention of an English Gold Rush. Then he turned his gaze to the riverbank and it gave him an idea. “I know. I could be the first one to start the English gold rush.”

He went to his tool shed and got out his digging spade. “I can see it now: Toad’s Gold Rush.”

            As he left Toad Hall for his new craze for gold rushing, he kept on boasting about he was going to make history. “I can see the history books. Toad the gold rusher. No, Toad the greatest gold rusher ever.” He came across Billy Rabbit.

            “Hello, Mr. Toad, sir,” Billy said. “What are you going to do today?”

            “I’m off to start a gold rush, Billy,” Toad told him. “I can see there’s gold that’s waiting for me to dig up.”

            “But, Mr. Toad, sir, we don’t have any gold here,” Billy said.

            “In that case, I shall have to dig even deeper in the riverbank,” Toad said, trotting on. “Luckily, I ate those six cream cakes this morning to give me the energy.”

            “But, Mr. Toad, sir, that’s not what I meant!” Billy tried to protest. “I meant there’s no gold in the riverbank at all, sir.” But that didn’t stop Toad from moving. Then Billy thought of getting help. So he headed to Mole End first.

 

 

Toad found a spot and started to dig. “The British Gold Rush begins now.”

Behind him were some bushes and out popped the heads of the Chief Weasel and his Weasel Henchman.

            “Gold rush, eh?” the Chief said. “That gives me an idea.” 

            “What is it, Chief?” the Henchman asked.

            “We will help Mr. Toad on his gold rush.”

            “What are the rules of a gold rush, Chief?”

            “There are no rules, you half-wit!” The Chief smacked the Henchman on the head. “Now, shut up and listen. This is what we’re going to.” Then he whispered into his ear.

            “Ho, ho, very nice, Chief,” the Henchman said. “Very nice.”

            “Well, what are you waiting for?” the Chief said. “Get going!”

            “Right, Chief.” And the Henchman ran off to do his tasks.

 

 

Billy reached Mole End and he knocked on the door. It opened up and out popped Mole. “Hello, Billy. We’re having a tea party. Want to come in?”

            “No, thank you, Mr. Mole. Sorry to interrupt your party, sir, but Mr. Toad is starting a gold rush, sir.”

            “A gold rush, you say, Billy?” Behind Mole popped Ratty.

            “Yes, Mr. Rat. Mr. Toad is digging up the riverbank, sir. I tried to stop him, but he wouldn’t listen, sir.”

            “Digging up the river bank?” Mole and Ratty moved out of the way to let Badger pass them. “We cannot have that. Come on, Ratty, Mole. We must stop him before it gets more out of hand. Thank you, Billy. Off you go now. We will sort Mr. Toad out.”

 

 

“Boy, all of this digging is hard work. Maybe I should take a rest and see how far I’ve dug.” Toad got out of the hole he had been digging and saw that he had dug only five inches. He checked his watch and saw he had spent only three hours digging those five inches. “Boy, this gold rush is more difficult than I thought.”
            “Perhaps we can help, Mr. Toad.”

            Toad jumped and turned around to see two figures wearing mining gears and helmets. This was of course the weasels in disguise, but Toad didn’t recognise them as he never learnt to.

“Who are you?” Toad asked.

            “We, Mr. Toad, are miners,” the Chief said. “I am Mr. Longhon and this is my apprentice Mr. Brown.”

            “But I thought my name would be – Ow!” The Henchman’s ear was grabbed by the Chief. “That’s right. My name is Mr. Brown.”

            “And just how can you help me?” Toad asked.

            “Well, Mr. Toad,” the chief said, “we have managed to spot of an area of gold waiting for whoever digs it up.”

            “So you’re in the gold rush as well?” Toad said.

            “I wouldn’t put it like that,” the Chief said. “We are in a gold race.”

            “A gold race?”
            “Whoever finds the gold gets to keep it. Fancy a challenge?”

            “Sure.”

            “How about we make it more challenging? How about whoever finds the gold gets to keep Toad Hall as well?”

            “That sounds very challenging. All right, let’s do it.”

            “Terrific, Mr. Toad. Only an idiot would refuse this challenge.”

            “Well, then, it’s lucky I’m a genius toad.”

            As Toad walked on, the weasels laughed cruelly behind the predicable toad’s back.

 

 

“Great heavens!” Ratty cried. “Toad has really gone too far again.”

            He, Mole and Badger had been following a lot of holes. They were too much and so badly dug that they could tell that this was all Toad’s doing.

            “At least they’re not too deep,” Mole said.

            “No, Mole, but he has made a mess of this beautiful land,” Badger said. “Oh, that vain and foolish creature. When I get my hands on him, I’m going to ground him in Toad Hall for half a year. Just like his father did when he was extremely naughty.”

            Ratty kept on following the dug holes and then stopped. “Badger, I think they still lead into the wild wood. Which means – ”

            “Toad is in there,” all three of them said together.

            “Come on, let’s get Toad out of there before he gets into deeper trouble,” Badger said.

            And they trod into the wild wood.

 

 

The weasels took Toad to a spot.

            “This is the spot, Mr. Toad,” the Chief said. “May the best digger win.”

            “Thanks,” Toad said. “I will.” Then he got digging.

            Then the Chief turned to his Henchman. “Where is our fake gold?”

            “It’s in this area, Chief.”

            “I know that, you brainless moron!” The Chief grabbed him by the nose. “Where exactly did you plant it?”

            “I buried it so deep I can’t remember,” the Henchman said.

            “Oh, you pathetic idiot!” The Chief freed his nose and slammed a spade into his hands. “Well, don’t just stand there! Get digging!”

            “Right, Chief!” The Henchman got to work.

            Toad and the Henchman was busy racing with their digging. They were digging like their futures depended on it… which they were.

            “TOAD!”

            Toad and the weasels turned around to see Badger, Mole and Ratty approaching them.

            “Toad, what do you mean by digging up the river bank?” Badger demanded.

            “I can’t talk right now, Badger,” Toad said. “I need to find the gold before my competitors do and take Toad Hall with it.”

            “Take Toad Hall?” Mole cried. “What are you talking about, Toad?”

            “You haven’t made a wager with the weasels, have you, Toad?” Ratty said.

            “Well, I did kinda –”

            “Oh, Toad!” Badger snapped. “You vain, foolish creature!”

            “Anyway, what do you mean, ‘weasels’?” Toad asked.

            “Yeah, we’re not weasels,” the Chief lied.

            “You two have always been terrible liars,” Badger said. “And this game you’re playing is getting too old.”
            The Chief snarled as he took his disguise off. The Henchman took his off as well.

            “All right, you got us,” the Chief snapped. “But Toad and us made a deal together. He can’t back out of it now. He has to find the gold all by himself. You can’t – ”

            Mole stepped on a pile of leaves and heard something rattling under his foot. “I think I found something.”

            The Chief sneered. “Hey, you can’t do that!”

            “Why not?” Badger gave him a warning look.

            When the Chief couldn’t think of a reason, he went silent as Mole pushed the leaves away and found a large something that resembled gold a lot.

            “Hey, that’s where our fake gold is!” cried the Henchman.

            But Toad was still digging.

            “Toad, you won the challenge,” Ratty cried.

            “I found something,” Toad said. “I’ve found a red emerald.” He held it up in his hand.

            “That’s a ruby, you idiot,” Ratty said. “Emeralds are sort of green.”

            “I knew that,” Toad said.

            “A ruby?” the Chief cried. He grabbed a spade and his Henchman. “Come on, let’s get digging for more rubies.”

            “Oh, another challenge!” Toad cried.

            “No, Toad!” Badger said warningly. “You’ve done enough. Now, you are going to fill in the holes that you dug up. And we will be watching. You will not go back to Toad Hall until they are all filled.”
            Toad sighed as he followed his friends to the holes he dug up and started to fill them in. Before he started to fill the first one in, he thought he put the ruby in his pocket but he didn’t put it in properly and it slipped into the hole he was covering up. 

            After Toad and his friends left for the second hole, none of them knew about the first refilled hole glowing red briefly.

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